Stay alert and aware. The signs you are seeking are very clear at this moment. ~Hawk
The month of August has been extremely challenging for me. Two weeks ago, I partially dislocated my kneecap chasing my dog in flip-flops. Then, our new internet tower was possibly struck by lightning. I say possibly because every technician who has been to our house has a different troubleshooting approach for our internet loss.
We also have a very weak cell phone signal in La Paloma and in order to get 3G on my iPhone, I have to go outside and wave my phone near the volcano. The problem with that is since I am using my wheelie office chair to roll around my house, I can’t get to the place in my backyard where the signal is the strongest. And by strong, I mean 3 bars. That is the best that we can do in La Paloma.
The frustrations kept mounting! Ron was remodeling our bathroom, climbing up and down the ladder, which affected his sciatic nerve. Although, he never complained, I knew he had tremendous pain. My house, which I try to keep clean became a den of dog and cat hair and the dirty dishes piled up. I can’t stand disorder! It drives me crazy.
Evenor, my technician, came to our house several times to fix my internet problem to no avail. They removed the cable wire leading from the tower, but they didn’t have enough wire to replace it, so they said they would return. Plus, my router broke! Evenor promised to go to Managua to get me a new router.
Then, this happened to Evenor!
The day before he was to go to Managua to get my router, he had an accident on his motorcycle. It looks like we are in the same wheelie office chair! We compared our injuries, I told him to heal quickly, and resigned myself to a life without internet.
Without internet, Ron couldn’t download new books on his Kindle and the 3G signal was too weak to download books. He resorted to reading the Jehovah Witness magazines they left on our porch.
I called Theresa. “Theresa, I have to rant and cry! I sobbed. What does all of this mean?”
I wondered if I used up all my good Karma. I sobbed for the loss of my mother because she always knew what to say to make me feel better. I was having a grand pity party, but most importantly I needed to figure out what these lessons meant that were causing me to spiral down a bitter and depressing path.
One day, while waving my phone in the direction of our sleeping volcano, I spotted a Roadside Hawk in our garden. The Roadside Hawk, which is found from northern Mexico south to Argentina, is one of the most widespread raptors in the Neotropics.
He stared at me as if to say, “Be aware that there is a message to be received and interpreted.”
This bird of prey often represents the ability to see meaning in ordinary experiences if one chooses to become more observant. As I studied the predator, while watching his every move, it dawned on me that I needed to free myself from the debilitating thoughts that limited my ability to soar above my “pitiful” life enabling me to gain a fresh perspective.
It was simply a matter of changing my attitude and soaring high enough to catch a glimpse of the bigger picture that would allow me to survive and flourish without a dependence on the internet or the ability to walk.
Optimism has always been one of my strongest virtues. I began to use the power of focus to strengthen my body and my spirit. Ron told me that I had to be willing to work through the pain, both emotionally and physically. The phrase, “A Hawk’s eye,” became more meaningful to me…watch carefully and use your intuitive powers to focus in the now.
The Roadside Hawk has become my animal totem. He visits the garden often and we exchange our thoughts. After the bird of prey’s initial visit, Ron found a therapeutic massage chiropractor in Moyogalpa and had his first treatment for his sciatic nerve. I focused on healing and am getting stronger everyday. I can roll around my house and mop and clean everything. I even figured out how to take a shower alone. Hopefully, I will be able to walk soon without crutches. Our internet is fixed and faster than ever before. The sweet technicians from Rivas brought me two routers, strung the cable from the tower, and set up my system. Evenor’s leg is improving daily. Of course he is much younger than me, so he will heal faster.
The Roadside Hawk entered my life when I needed it the most. I am slowly learning to be focused on my daily undertakings, to avoid distractions, and focus on the task at hand. The key is to sense the subtle meaning which the Roadside Hawk gifted me…to be carried gently by the wind and the spirit of change…poco a poco.
How do you stay focused in the now to avoid frustration?