“I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, It’s a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, And that enables you to laugh at life’s realities.”
― Dr. Seuss
I am grouchy. The April heat is almost unbearable. It hasn’t rained for six months. My internet sucks because too many people are using the bandwidth on my server. The new paint on my plunge pool blistered and we had to drain it. The power and water are unreliable. The entire community of Urbite has run out of water. The city well is dry. The roaming cows and pigs searching for something to eat knocked down our fence to munch on the sparse tufts of grass that are wilting in our yard. My neighbor had her thyroid removed and she can’t afford the thyroid pills she has to take for the rest of her life. Do you want me to continue?
When I read articles of fantasy such as the one linked below, all I can do is laugh. Fantasy Retirement? Living in Paradise? Let’s get real about living and retiring in Nicaragua. Life here is not all about surfing, drinking Toñas, and watching the beautiful sunsets. Living in Nicaragua isn’t for sissies.
In 2004, we used to enjoy going to San Juan del Sur. It was a quiet, little fishing village. Then, the cruise ships came, the throngs of tourists, and hundreds of expats moved to Nicaragua searching for paradise. Now, prostitutes, thieves, and drug addicts bus from Managua to where unsuspecting tourists are scammed. Then, they hop back on the buses to sell their loot in Managua. Yes, it is even happening on our little Ometepe Island.
My friend once told me that once you get used to the garbage in Nicaragua, you have arrived.
This nonsense wakes up my fried brain cells. Do you want to know the naked truth about living in Nicaragua? I say ‘naked truth’ because I’m sitting at my laptop naked and drenched in sweat and it’s only 7:00 am.
Life is challenging here.
Always expect the unexpected.
Live without any expectations. It’s survival mode at its finest!
I’m going to fill-up our plunge pool today. I don’t care if we use our entire reserve tank of water and all the paint peels off the pool. Then, I’m going to sit in the pool and drink my wine, while looking at life in Nicaragua through the wrong end of a telescope. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient of living in Nicaragua. Maybe, just maybe I’ll be able to laugh at life’s realities or at least survive until the rains start.
Post Note: Seriously, I can’t make this stuff up! I couldn’t fill the pool today because we had an attack of chayules (aquatic mites). They always swarm when the wind blows across the lake from the Northwest. I got my trusty electric blower out, after I received a frantic message about an hysterical pregnant woman who awoke to a giant cane toad on her stomach seeping it’s milky white toxic goo all over her belly… a sign of doom for a pregnant woman in Nicaragua, and then blew as many of the chayules as I could out of the house. All is OK in the land of the not quite right. :-) The chayules will be gone in two more days.
I know this sounds like a tall tale, but it’s real life in Nicaragua…all day…everyday. It keeps me on my gypsytoes.