“If God had wanted us to be concerned for the plight of the toads, he would have made them cute and furry. ” ― Dave Barry
As of today, call me the Cane Toad Buster. I walked into my casita to clean it for guests and instead witnessed a scene right out of Hitchcock’s The Birds, except with Cane Toads. Piles of warty, tough-skinned, bug-eyed, poison dripping, big lipped, ugly monsters stared at me from every corner of the room daring me…taunting me…teasing me to bring it on!
“Julio,” I shouted, “bring a shovel and a big bucket.” Cane Toads are the largest toads in the world, sometimes weighing up to five pounds. They huddled together in the dark corners of my casita, under the bed, on top of the linen trunk, and under the rocking chairs. When I slid the shower curtain aside, the Latin named Bufo marinus were salsa dancing on my tiled floor.
Armed with a broom and a spade, we shoveled and swept the obnoxious amphibians into a bucket. They were hopping mad…secreting their milky bufotoxin from every gland in their bodies. Their deadly chemical cocktail can kill an animal in 15 minutes if they swallow it. Oh the horrors of these vile creatures! The nerve of them defiling my casita!
They must be stopped!
Cane Toads are common in Central and South America. We usually see a few of them in the dry season, especially in March, their mating season. But, this year, I have chased more Cane Toads out of my house and porch than I have ever seen before. We slip in their pee puddles, and slide on their poo patches.
They must be conquered!
In 1935, Australia had the brilliant idea to import Cane Toads to wipe out the pesky greyback beetle, which was eating their sugarcane crops. But, it backfired when the beetles were left untouched and the Cane Toads prospered and multiplied…actually their population exploded from 102 originally imported to 1.5 billion. The ugly vile critters have no problem finding mates and reproduce faster than rabbits. They have no natural predators. Native species are disappearing because of their veracious appetites.
Is it possible to reconcile with these horrible hoppers? You decide!
No Cane Toads were killed in the making of this post.